in your 50s

Lack Motivation In Midlife? Try This Simple Tweak

As a wellness coach, I listen a lot. My job is to listen intently with mindfulness as I hear not only the words my clients are saying, but also how they’re saying those words and the feeling behind them.

There is a word I hear a lot and it’s usually accompanied by a negative tone of voice. That word is “should.”

“I ‘should’ exercise more often.”

“I ‘should’ choose the fruit over the candy bar.”

“I ‘should’ get someone to help me take care of my elderly mom.”

Here’s the problem. “Should” statements feel like punishment. Words such as “should” or “need to” sound like duties, tasks, or punishment. What’s more, these words don’t motivate us, nor do they make the “doing” enjoyable.

On the other hand, when my clients use the word “want,” the energy in their voice completely changes. “Want” statements make us feel like we’re receiving something GOOD for ourselves.

“I ‘want’ to exercise more often.”

“I ‘want’ to choose the fruit over the candy bar.”

“I ‘want’ to get someone to help me take care of my elderly mom.”

But let’s take it even a step further and add the word “because.”

“I ‘want’ to exercise more often because I feel so accomplished afterward.”

“I ‘want’ to choose the fruit over the candy bar because my body works hard for me and I want to reward it with good nutrition.”

“I ‘want’ to get someone to help me take care of my elderly mom because I love and care about my health and well-being.”

When you add “because” to your statement, it helps remind you WHY you WANT to do this good thing for yourself. It’s important for us to remind ourselves of the benefits of making good choices.

A small tweak to your vocabulary can completely shift your mindset from feeling like this good thing you’re doing for your health and wellness is not a punishment, rather, it’s something that makes you feel good, vibrant, healthy, strong, energetic, and rejuvenated.

Give it a try this week!

P.S. Ready to look, feel, and perform at your best? I have a 3-part mini-coaching series that I’ve created just for you. It’s only $7 and you can begin right now. Check it out by clicking below:

1 reply
  1. Heidi BK Sloss
    Heidi BK Sloss says:

    Interesting tweak of language. I really want to eat healthy and when I don’t I feel physically punished afterwards. My bigger problem these days is not so much eating things that aren’t healthy but rather eating too much, even of things that are good for me.

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