An “Oldie But Goodie” Reminder

I spent last weekend visiting our nation’s capital. I always think of you on the plane when they play that safety video where they remind us to put our own oxygen mask on before we help others.

I think of you when I see this because I know that you may have spent most of your life putting the oxygen mask on everyone else and if there was any time left, you put it on yourself. It’s understandable. Building your career and raising your family is usually the highest priority in a women’s life early on. All of your time and attention had to go there.

But that was then and now you’re in your fifties and perhaps your kids have left the nest, you’ve settled into your career (and maybe even looking forward to retirement!), and have more time to focus on yourself or maybe you’re just willing to make more time to take care of yourself.

This is where most of my clients land. They’re in their fifties and they’ve realized that while they’ve been helping others thrive, they’ve sacrificed a lot and it has taken a toll on their physical, mental, and emotional health.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that your body has changed and things have “shifted”. You don’t have the ease of movement you once had. You might have a nagging pain here or there. You may still find yourself with too much on your plate and little time to take care of your needs.

My mission is to empower women in their fifties to start putting the oxygen mask on themselves now, not last, but first. I consider this a far from selfish act as I believe that taking care of ourselves is the most generous and loving thing we can do for others.

When we take care of ourselves, we love better, we give better, and we don’t have to depend on others to take care of us.

Perhaps your parents are nearing the end of their lives and it’s very clear who has taken care of themselves throughout their life and who hasn’t. This can be a powerful wake-up call. I see it in my own parents. Thankfully, they still make it to the gym three times a week and while sometimes I wish they would push themselves a little harder (I know my sweet dad reads my blog!) I’m glad they even go. And that’s the thing – something is always better than nothing (another “oldie but goodie” reminder).

There is no better time than NOW to commit to putting your needs right up there with everyone else’s. Remind yourself of what positive things could come from this recommitment to lifelong self-care.

Take a minute to get out a piece of paper and pen and list out the benefits of self-care in one column and the consequences of “business as usual” in the other. This is a powerful exercise that could serve as a reminder to start doing just one thing everyday that is an act of self-care.

Heck, you already do a few like brushing your teeth and taking a shower. Those acts are second nature to you at this point, but you make time to do them, maybe because you don’t want to smell or have rotted teeth. That would be embarrassing when you go in public, now wouldn’t it, but what if we put what other people think to the side for a second and think of an act of self-care you can start doing just for you, not for anyone else?

• Do you have a book that you want to start (or finish) reading?
• Is there an exercise class at the community center you want to try?
• What about a bread-making class? (Okay, maybe that’s just me!)

Whatever this act of self-care is, it’s important that it excites you when you think about it. Remember, this is just for you – no one else even needs to know about it if you don’t want.

My hope is that you begin to see self-care as not a luxury in your fifties, but necessary part of a happy, healthy, and well-lived life.

I believe you deserve nothing less and I hope you do too.